Hollywood’s Secret Location

Holly San Nicolas

Crimson Chronicle Reporter

Recently, students who have called the stairs by the 200 building their home-away-from-home have witnessed a mass eviction. Staff and faculty members have been kicking the students out of this general area for security issues, claiming they want to make for a safer, cleaner learning environment.

But are they being thorough in their spring cleaning?

Whether or not the authority is aware of it, the stairs by the 200 building is not the only place that students seek solitude. In fact, there are many more places they wouldn’t have given a second glance to beforehand.

When drastic times call for drastic measures, students get creative.

Like adolescent spectres, they glide stealthily out of their classrooms and into the wild frontier of the quad, where they very narrowly avoid the eyes of the ever-looming security guards. From there, the students proceed further.

The Zen Buddhists say “if you seek it, you shall not find it,” and this is true. To find the rat, you must think like the rat.

Next time you’re walking by the Big Gym, near the pool, keep walking straight down and make a left turn down the hall. You will most definitely find a damp, windowless room that opens up to what used to be our football field. This spot is ideal for connoisseurs of illegal substances, as there is little to no ventilation in this room. It’s also great for exchanging bodily fluids- because nothing quite sets the mood like a cold, fluorescent-lit, stony bastion.

Other students are more upward-bound. Literally. Near the cafeteria sits the auditorium, and atop the auditorium, on the balcony facing the field, are perched several students who are just a few feet below the enlightenment they are apparently trying to achieve. Then, there is the legendary “twelfth step” cubicle near the construction lot, by the Orange Gate. Students allegedly climb over a slight obstacle to their temporary escape from the reality of the classroom environment.

In contrast to all of these obscure hiding places are the most obvious spots you would normally never give a second glance. The stairs by the library, the bench by the entrance near the parking lot, and any given stairway- all are inhabited, and all are in plain sight.

So, my fellow students, the next time you need a break, you now know where to look. All you need to pull it off is an excuse to use “the restroom” and a mentality devoid of morality and second thoughts. Good luck!


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