Spicy Chicken Sandwich Cartel


While sitting in a hot, boring classroom, you put your heavy head in your hand. Just before it falls onto your desk, you hear the tell-tale whisper: “you buyin’?” followed by the slow unzipping of a backpack, which culminates in the stealthy crinkling sound of paper being unwrapped. A mysterious fast food aroma wafts throughout the room, which begs the question: who’s sellin’?

The selling of spicy chicken sandwiches and other fast food items has been a very popular way of making a profit this year at Hollywood High. It was an inevitable success with the recent flavor-devoid choices from the school’s cafeteria. However, it was also against the rules. A duffle bag full of sandwiches being confiscated was humorously about the equivalent of possessing drugs on campus to onlookers.

The business was stigmatized, even punished, with the reason being that it took money away from the school. Another popular reason was that it was a health issue, as it would have been considered a liability if someone were have to fallen ill post consumption. But is it really such a bad thing?

Typically, the sandwiches available for purchase are sold on the value menus at chains like McDonald’s and Carl’s Jr. for around $1. The students who make the effort to go and pick them up then bring them to school in a bag, selling them at $2- which brings in a 100% profit. These students are actually getting a good lesson in business and marketing, and their customers have no complaints.

“My favorite thing to buy is a spicy chicken sandwich, of course,” said Jacob Sasson, a TCA junior. “I’ve never gotten sick from eating one. I think that making them contraband is just an excuse because they know that students are more likely to spend their money on the sandwiches instead of the school lunches- which sometimes look as though they’ve been scraped out of the garbage cans.”

Whoever these vigilant entrepreneurs are, they are crafty, cunning, and have an idea of what the public wants from the school. What the school will not provide. What they have for sale. They are the Spicy Chicken Mafia, and they will continue to thrive as long as we maintain our unanimous hankering for fast food fixes.  

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